1 – Have the right state of mind to reconnect with your ex
What happens immediately after a breakup is usually a reaction. It is a reaction that comes from instinct, need, desperation, or sometimes a power struggle.
But once the emotional tsunami has passed and a few days of no contact, things calm down.
What you do now is important because this is the time when everyone will show their true faces.
The actions you take will help you find yourself and experience a new, even more, beautiful love story. Or conversely, it may confirm that the breakup was the right decision and that the arguments were well-founded.
There’s no way of knowing for sure what will happen in the future.
But if you play your cards right, do the right things at the right time, you can increase the chances of getting your ex back instead of losing him forever.
Now that we’ve established how necessary it is to get it right, let’s get started.
First of all, having the right frame of mind is the most important aspect of getting your ex back. Yet this is something that many separated people overlook.
State of mind of scarcity
If you have a scarcity way of thinking, you will always be afraid of losing what you have because you imagine there is not enough. For example, you believe that if you lose your ex, you will never find love again. You feel the same about happiness, wealth, and even your health.
This is why people with a scarcity mentality always act out of fear: running out of something, out of fear of losing the person they love.
Fear is most devastating. Here is a non-exhaustive list of what it can cause:
- destroy a relationship through emotional insecurity,
- destroy a couple out of jealousy,
- destroy a marriage with anger,
- destroy a budding love through poor communication, even lying
Fear and love do not, therefore, go hand in hand!
The point is, fear kills relationships. This is certainly not what you need to reconcile with your ex and start a fulfilling relationship again.
We recommend that you show love. If you want to maintain a strong relationship, you need to be honest and be in communication.
2 – Take the first step after the breakup
It is obvious that if you stay in no contact, you will never get your ex back! Of course, this can be the way to make your ex feel like they miss you if they still love you. Maybe he (she) will even regret his decision. But after a while, if no one takes the first step, you’ll never get back together.
Many people dread this moment and hesitate. Why?
Here are the main reasons:
- fear of sounding like someone desperate;
- refusal to give ascendancy to his ex;
- fear of appearing to be harassing him;
- difficulty forgiving;
- fear of doing it wrong.
Do you recognize yourself in this painting? Then, read the passage on fear again. Because if you want to restore your relationship, you shouldn’t let fear dictate your actions.
Contact your ex by SMS
Whatever the situation, Coronavirus or not, you can’t just pop in on your ex like a flower and beg him to come back with you because you still love him. It would help if you did this with tact and finesse and give your ex time to be clear about his romantic feelings.
Your best ally is, therefore, your smartphone. So naturally, you’re going to send well-chosen texts, and sparingly to begin with.
Of course, you will have the jitters. This is normal. But you’re going to have to get started if you want to have a chance to win your ex back. If you don’t, your ex will end up assuming that you forgot about him.
This whole process of wanting to reconnect is emotionally draining. And the more time you wait, the more stress you accumulate.
There are, however, two pitfalls to avoid:
- not to pass for someone in need, in emotional dependence;
- maintain control of the situation.
Don’t appear desperate in front of your ex.
It is true that if you harass your ex with text messages after the breakup, it makes you look like someone desperate who does not respect himself. And this is a serious mistake.
But things are not the same after no contact. Especially after doing some work on you. If you have acquired the right frame of mind, you will be able to approach this situation calmly. And most importantly, you will not present yourself as a weak person and in need of love.
Consider two different situations:
“I want my ex to come back at all costs. I want to do everything to get him (her) back. I don’t want to lose him (her) because I am nothing without him (her).”
If this is your state of mind right now and you are contacting your ex, then chances are they will feel your desperation. Even if you use the right messages to contact your ex, he will understand what is going on with you and ignore or even block you.
On the other hand, consider this attitude:
“I want to contact my ex because I really believe we can start a new relationship. I learned a lot and have become a better person. I hope my ex too. I want to try again and see if the new relationship will be different this time. If it works, I’ll be happy to have reconnected. If not, I will know that I did my best and that there is nothing else I can do.”
What to say to your ex
This is a delicate point, and most people don’t know what to say to get back in touch. This obviously also depends on the circumstances of the separation.
But in general, start with short texts that are not binding. Give time and space to your ex. Also, know how to listen to him. You will increase your chances of getting him (her) back.
Do not be especially in the reproach, the victimization, or the throwing on the other of all the responsibility for the rupture.
3 – Renew the dialogue with your ex and rekindle the flame
To summarize, you have taken the first step towards your ex by sending him an SMS after the no contact.
He (she) responded positively. So you plan to continue to exchange by SMS to recreate a connection between you two and arouse a new attraction. If trust is reestablished, it shouldn’t be too hard to be in each other’s arms anytime soon.
But don’t crick the steps anyway.
Go slowly at the start, talk about innocuous subjects, good memories of a couple, your past bond, then cut. The next time, the conversation can be a little longer and more personal. But, again, do it slowly and steadily, so your ex gets used to talking to you again. If that helps you, visualize the resumption of contact as a succession of waves, bigger and bigger.
Little by little, you will feel your ex falling in love again, the connection will be more intense, and you will feel the desire… Always strive to move forward but do it slowly and subtly. Seduction is quite an art.
Then you will talk about your feelings, and your ex will be encouraged to do so. But, of course, now you will want to see each other again.
You will be on the verge of getting back together and being able to kiss your ex-partner again, who will be an ex-ex.